GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
