She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
