Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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