it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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