he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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