the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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