Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
