So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
