this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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