Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
