When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just gargled with NyQuil
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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