im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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