i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My ass is underappreciated
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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