I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
