i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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