HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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