do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
