the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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