I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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