Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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