Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
