An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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