We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
