You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
