i permit you to call me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
