and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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