I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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