hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
