Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
