Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
