Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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