she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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