did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
