I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
