I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
