I feel great
I just peed on a car
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
