Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
