I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
