No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
