At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
