i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
