I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
