What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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