I am puke
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize