Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
