I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
