eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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