You're completely useless in the revolution.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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