Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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