Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just high enough for therapy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We smell like vodka and hangover
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