I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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