this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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