FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you are never too drunk for berry picking
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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