So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
