Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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