The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
