There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
