Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
