Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
