Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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