You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
