Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
