so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
