i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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