I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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