I accidentally had phone sex last night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
