Screwed.edu
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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