Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
pray to the hookup gods
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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