The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
