I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
