mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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